Love your MagGie

Critique towards an online celebrity: "POISON".

2007-01-30T04:29:00.000+11:00

The blog that I've introduced it's construct by an anonymous who named himself as “poison”.
It is a personal space built up on the MSN space, the most popular one in China. This blog has been operating from July, 2005 till now, January 2007, 17 months in total.

The popularity of this blog can tells very clearly how important and influential this blog has been.
For instance, for the article he wrote in Jan 17th 2007, till 25th, there are 4118 comments on it.
The newest update, which from 25th till now, have got 1371 comments already. These shocking numbers have showed the large and broad audience this blog have.
He was ranked by a famous Chinese magazine that the most popular online celebrities in China.

He is not just someone on the internet anymore.
Due to his extreme success about his blog, many newspapers have written special reports about him and his blog.

The main reason for his extreme success may mainly because of that:
# He's rich, and people never know why his family is so incredibly rich.
# He's rich enough to have almost all those fashion items from those luxury brands.
# His luxury lifestyle, as he’s always wearing those cloths that ordinary Chinese people can only see in the magazines.
# He's handsome; even more handsome than most of the artists.
# He's studying outside the country, in a brand new world (He's now a current master student of the University if Arts London, Central Saint Martins.)

Most of his bolg are made up by pictures he took, about himself and the places and countries he have been to.
They are not formal ones; most of them have his handsome and poker-faced face on; during his lecture, drawing, swimming, eating, etc; mainly about his life.
Others are about the views of the places he have been to.
As he said, at the age of 25, he have been to more than 20 countries, and all of them are not just passing by, but with careful observes and understandings.
As he's an art student, all his pictures are beautiful and special.

(Oooooooooooooops!!
What a pity.. I just found somehow I can't post any pictures on here!!!!
For pictures, plz view his space: http://lwhanz1981530.spaces.live.com/)

From his newest updated, we've known that he was just back from Jerusalem. He was there for 19 days as a tourist.
And, according to him, he was living in the same hotel as the Secretary of the Unite States.
He took many pictures of the city, the Wailing Wall, the Dead Sea, ect.
He wrote a good and meaningful review after his trip to this special city.
For example, “Fight, for scrabble. A city, which was named as ‘peace’, but for what reason, it was keeping suspiring.”

He's blog is all about himself.
The life he's experiencing, the cities he have been to, the “members only” restaurants he have been to, the opinions he's holding towards some controversial topics.
It's is so self-central; but for some reason it is not shown in a bad way. Everything on his blog is very subjective, which is fair in this case as it is a non-commercial blog, and most importantly, it is a PERSONAL space.

He is not shallow, and sure not cocky.
He's so showing off his luxury life, but in a way of describing his everyday life. He never tells the readers how many brandy stuff he have got (even thought we can see so freaking clearly how those dreamy stuff for us have show up in his pictures with him).
As contrast, he has constantly talked about the poor period of him and his family.
He said once that he wears clothes that cost 10,000 pounds, and also some that worth only 1 pound.

From some of the drawing from him, you can tell that he has some talent on arts.
Well, yes, I don’t know anything about arts, but, I still got some sense about it.
It's obvious from his words as well.
He constantly writes meaningful articles; based on his life, his past experiences, or just some random thoughts.
He rarely talks about love, or political stuffs (this is due to the extreme sensitive and limits from the Chinese government).
Mostly about attitude to life, arts, and the world…

His bolg was once been closed down by the MSN Space operator for no reason (sure there is some ‘political reason’ within, but Chinese never knows the truth).
And then, according to him, he fixed the problems by spoke to some upper management people.

He is always a controversial person, from the very first day he built his space.
At first, I didn't really like him as well.
I once thought that he was too shallow, and belongs to those kids from rich families but can do nothing by themselves.
This is still many people’s point of view.

But for me, he has proved himself.
He has never written a word to answer all those questions towards him.
He keeps on with his own way, his own style.
He is not afraid of all the critics for him (he's talking over among all young people and many news papers within the country).
He also never changed himself just because he's so popular now in China.

Personally, I like him, and I admire him. And sure, I jealous him.
He's brave enough to live in his own way, as we all know; the Chinese Communist Party is trying soooo hard to control his people’s mind, so that normally the Chinese society allows no individualism. And after years and years mind-control, the whole society doesn't really accept people who is not going on the "normal way". Simply, people are afraid of strange things, afraid of being along, special, or you can say strange.

He has all the criteria for being a “online celebrity”.
And he's a special one.
Doesn't mean to judge him by my own point of view, but, seriously,
he, is, a good one.

Maggie strongly recommends you to have a look at his space. Even you may don’t understand Chinese, but, just from his pictures, you can feel a part of him.

http://lwhanz1981530.spaces.live.com/

You will like him.

According to experts...

2007-01-25T17:27:00.000+11:00

According to the researches from those experts…
The total life of LOVE can only last 18 months.

According to experts, if a male1s name starts with vowel, or a female1s name ends with vowel; that would make them sounds much sexier.

According to experts, big ass people normally have higher intelligent.

According to experts, alcohol free lifestyle have more chance to have diabetes.

According to experts, doesn't matter how much house work you've done, it would never become “exercise”.

According to experts, people who write dairies are more easily to get sick.

Generally, these kind of statements are the conclusions based on those national survey in many different cities, large population, different age group.

It seems like you have to believe it.

Today, experts give out another one.

He asks, if your boss is a well-educated, tidy, ambition but also seductive person.
If yes, expert says, be careful, he might be a psycho.

Not all psychos are psychological freaking murderer.
They have singularly desire towards money, power and sex,
They also have strong language skill.
Commonly, these kinds of psychopathic symptom are reckoned as a highly enterprise and leadership behavior, so that they can be employed as a leader of the group.

Does it mean that our world is actually ruling by a group of psychos??

If you read news, you can always find many study results from long term researches by many experts in different countries.
The results tell us:
Something you think it is right, but actually it is not right.
Something you think it is bad, however it isn’t as bad as you think.

All those experts' words kinda drive me crazy.
They reverse all the knowledge I thought I have. Then give me some more new information. And then, they reverse it again.
Who the hell are those experts???

Are they send by some one to reverse our world?

Whatever,
I will just try to live as long, as happy, and as free as I can.

Don't tell me what I should do or should not do.
I know myself better than you, boys.

About love

2007-01-25T17:10:00.000+11:00

Oh ya... It's all about love.

This is some words that I wrote to my brother in a letter days before.
He's now in Toronto Uni, and his Gf's still in China..

Oh ya, it's the infamous "Distance Love",
Just try to help him a bit, about this...
the best or worth thing in the world.

LOVE.

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. "

"The fastest way to lose love is to hold on it too tight,
the best way to keep love is to give it wings! "

The other day as I talked with a friend I recalled a story that I heard this summer.
"A compassionate person,
saw a butterfly struggling to free itself from its cocoon,
he wanted to help.
So he very gently loosened the filaments to form an opening.
The butterfly was freed, emerged from the cocoon,
and fluttered about but could not fly.

What the compassionate person did not know was that only through the birth struggle can the wings grow strong enough for flight.
Its shortened life was spent on the ground; it never knew freedom, never really lived."

I call it learning to love with an open hand.

It is a learning which has come slowly to me and has been wrought in the fires of pain and in the waters of patience.
I am learning that I must free the one I love.
For if I clutch or cling, try to control, I lose what I try to hold.

If I try to change someone I love because I feel I know how that person should be,
I rob him or her of a precious right.
The right to take responsibility for one's own life and choices and way of being. Whenever I impose my wish or want or try to exert power over another,
I rob him or her of the full realization of growth and maturation.
I limit and prevent by my act of possession,
no matter how kind my intention.
I can limit and injure by the kindest acts of protection or concern.
Over extended it can say to the other person more eloquently than words,
"You are unable to care for yourself; I must take care of you because you are mine. I am responsible for you."

As I learn and practice more and more,
I can say to the one I love: "I love you, I value you, I respect you and I trust that you have the strength to become all that it is possible for you to become — if I don't get in your way.
I love you so much that I can set you free to walk beside me in joy and in sadness.
I will share your tears but I will not ask you not to cry.
I will respond to your needs.
I will care and comfort you, but I will not hold you up when you can walk alone. I will stand ready to be with you in your grief and loneliness but I will not take it away from you.
I will strive to listen to your meaning as well as your word, but I shall not always agree.
Sometimes I will be angry and when I am,
I will try to tell you openly so that I won't hate our differences or feel estranged.

I can not always be with you or hear what you say for there are times when I must listen to myself and care for myself,
and when that happens, I will be as honest as I can be."

I am learning to say this,
whether it be in words or in my way of being with others and myself,
to those I love and for whom I care.
And this I call loving with an open hand.

We cannot always keep our hands off the cocoon, but I am getting better at it, cuz I'm trying, trying hardly.
And I wants to share with all of you.
My brother, my friends, my dears and my dad and mom.

Love is something that could destory us, but most importantly,
it makes us stronger, tougher, better,
through the pain, the struggle, the sadness that we went through...

Love, 愛

2007-01-21T17:02:00.000+11:00

Love is a deep, tender, ineffable feeling which will not occur in a one way road.
There is a little bit of love inside everyone,
But it’s waiting to be exposed to the right connection.
This feeling may just be around the corner just waiting for you to come across it.
Or it might even creep up behind you at the most unexpected times.
That’s why people all say that “Love is BLIND”.
But I say Love is blind because you want the love you have to be blind.
It’s up to you in what u make of the love you have and connect it with your other half.
The main ingredient in love is the feeling you have for each other
Love is a feeling that can only be expressed thought the eyes of lovers,
This feeling is not expressed thought words but thought the sparks of fire balls in the eyes of whom in love.
Love can bring pain and sorrow, but may not be bad.
Love can bring happiness, but may not be good.
Love is patient, but our world won’t wait for us.

After all this there is no one authoritative definition for love, no matter the effect it has on people.

The traditional Chinese character for love (愛) consists of a heart (middle) inside of "accept," "feel" or "perceive,"
which shows a graceful emotion and feeling which may be involved in love.

愛

Once an individual has experience love,
They will keep no record of wrongs and, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
Love never fails.
This is the main reason why so many people in this world spend there lives in search of this true love.
It’s also said that “you are very lucky just to come across true love once in a life time”.
Love may not always have the return one has invested but that’s not the point,
The point is to be able to experience this once in a life time feeling and hoping with no regrets that a love will return in your favour.
You may think it’s not worth the hassle effort and many cases pain to experience love but when love creeps up on you be are willing to give your everything to make it come true, for the sake of once in a life time experience.

If its a once in a life time experience, how do we know if we have found out love?
Well, once in love your world will no longer exist as you enter into theirs.
You will give out your everything just to ensure their happiness.
Their happiness is your everything, although it may be a painful but brings you an endless form of happiness.

Once in love, it’s no longer the mind in control; but the heart which is filled with that special person.
You will fell like your day is not complete until you talk to them,
Or that by just thinking of them brings you happiness or sorrow…… but all these are in the name of love so it’s fine.
You will also cry out of no where and your heart will be filling with them and no matter what you are doing there name is just around the corner form you.
Their everything becomes your everything and you will always some how be reminded of them no matter the situation you are in their life….

So please don’t doubt the power of love as it may sound like a sin to life.
But if so why are so many people in pursuit of it?
The reason might be just as simple as its worth giving your everything for even thought you are clear that the result may not show for the effort or there might be NO result at all…………….

Overseas Students

2007-01-21T16:44:00.000+11:00

"Being an overseas student is not an easy thing." says Melin Wong, an overseas student. Like most of the overseas students, Melin is one of students which from a chinese ordinary family at the Shenzheng city. She is an accounting student which in her final year. But what about her and the overseas students?

There is a report from the survey of the students who are about to graduate from the universitys. The report which made from a few different overseas student's societies, more than 4/5 of them were suffering from the annual rising fees of their subjects, and most of the students are panic from to be the jobless in the future after they graduated.

"Whenever the payment time is coming I always feeling down, because that is not a small amount of money for me." says Melin. It has been years the immigration deparment has ruled the overseas student can only have 20 hour per week working time, and to pay for the subjects they are studying their parents have to pay for the most. except the subject fees the students also need to make money for themselves to survive. The coming result is many of the students have to illegally work over the hour-limit Which set by the immigration department, and some of the students' visa has been cancelled because of that!

"There is no way you can gain experience from a work about what we are studying now." says Melin. For a Simple reason, most of the students are wanting to stay in Australia as they went through their student life at their universities. But according to the regulations of immigration, the students must achieve at least 120 migrant point, and the students have only entitled a short period of time to stay after they graduated. "To gain the 120 points I have get a job to complete that!" Melin said. Not just overseas students, the local student has the same problem too. The research revealed most of the company will not hire anyone who has no experience. so where can they gain the experience from if no one wants them?

"I have friends who fully supported by there family work for the companies for free, so they can gain experience from the companies. But most of us cannot, we need income to survive!" says Melin. There are many local people we can see today work in the career which different to the subject they have learned from the university. The overseas student society also did a survey and revealed most of the people who are doing a different career from what they have learned from the unversity because of the company requirement of the experience. Those people are easily found on the trades field, but for the overseas students to do trade is even more difficult, because they have only 20hour work time limit.

From the latest reveal, Australia is losing overseas students every year because of these conventional problems, Australia has shorten professional people in all different careers, specially in the trade, why has no one thought of it and we wonder why there are still no solutions?

I have those data because I was a part of the research team.
People seems don't like overseas students, they tend to think that we are lazy, not hard working....
But is there any one cares about the problems we are facing?
Or everyone just wants their own interests??

I'm not complaining..
I'm just sharing some thoughts with you..

Fireworks

2007-01-19T12:38:00.000+11:00

Have you seen fireworks?
I think most people have.

It's the most beautiful thing in the world for me.
Every time I look at them would just give me a large shock.

How beautiful is it?
I can't tell you.

It's not because of I don’t want to share the beauty with you.
Oh no, so much I would like to share with you.

It's because my English is not good enough to have those beautiful words to describe it.
Not even my Chinese.

Words sometimes are really powerless; especially when it comes to the real beauty.

So maybe I could show you some more pictures.
No I won't.
Oh yes, sure I can. But I am not going to.

Not even pictures can mark down the shining moments of it.
The open up as a flower, a heart, a star, or just the original blow out.

Some of my friends pray when they see the fireworks.
They believe that the fireworks have similar as the meteors; which can have your dreams come true.
So every time they see the fireworks, they close their eyes and pray.
I don’t know if their dreams have all come true, but I just would never close my eyes when I can have fireworks. They are more beautiful than my dreams.

Some of my friends take pictures when they see fireworks.
They want to keep these treasure moments forever, within their camera.
Yes they took lots of picture. But not one of them can compare to those real ones.

What would I do when I am looking at fireworks?
I would just simply loot at them.
To enjoy the pleasure moments it brings to us, but not to disturb it.
To keep it forever with my heart, but not some digital stuff.
To cheer it out loud to let it know, but not to ask for help.

There are many beautiful moments in our life.
Those give by our parents, friends, lovers, or even some pieces of touch from strangers.

We may be able to keep some silent pictures by camera, but we cannot keep the happy laughing with it.
We may be able to keep some actions and sounds by a DV, but we cannot keep it with us to everywhere.
You can never keep the most beautiful things with you forever.
The most beautiful things, are always those we would lost fastest.

So,
I try best to enjoy them when I have them.
And then I keep all those treasure memories within my heart.
Anytime, when I think about them, I can take it out and re-enjoy them.
I own them. Forever.

The fireworks are breaking out in the sky. It keeps shining, red, green, yellow… suddenly change to pink!
Stars… hearts… flowers….

It's a live show!

Simple Life

2007-01-19T12:11:00.000+11:00

Most of the time, we are affecting by the world; influencing by our own habits.
Moreover, we are changing by our desire. Or, say, we allow our desire to over us, take us.
The desire of been powerful, been rich, and been seductive…

Are we seeking kind of affirmation; or the feeling of fulfilments during the process?
Or, is that we are too greedy, never feel enough, always for more?
Money, power, achievements, or social status…

But maybe, what we really should learn, should really try hard to have, is “satisfaction”?

Maybe sometimes, life has been made to be too complicated by us.
Can it be a little bit more simplex?

As long as we can have a tide and warm sleep, with a sweet sweet dream,
Then wake up in the morning, look at tomorrow’s sun shining above.

Just that simple, isn’t it better?

I don’t need a brandy bag to make me feel “high class”;
I don’t need to have everyone under my control to feel BIG;
I don’t need lots friends (shallow friends) around me to feel popular;
I don’t need bunch of boys chasing me to feel hot...

It’s not about how much you seem to have,
It’s the inside, how much you own within your heart.

K.I.S.S. Please.

Keep It Simple Stupid.

I think I've got enough for me to be happy.

Beautiful...

2007-01-19T11:09:00.000+11:00

It's last Friday I think.
Lauren walked in the classroom. This was a well dress up Lauren. Well, to be honest, she is a bit, as she said in her blog, “usually dress like a hobo” in school. (Haha, not really that much…J ). It’s like, jeans and a casual shirt or something. I don't know, maybe she thinks it’s school, should not be too much.

However that day, she is really quite amazing.
Can’t remember too much detail, just know that she's in a kind of “OL” look. White shirt on top, and a tide black dress.
Ok, here we go, some more detail descriptions: “I wore a white satin blouse tucked into a chic black pencil skirt and Gucci sunglasses with black oriental style slip on shoes (according to herself, http://www.chickontheroad.blogspot.com/).
Not too much, and pretty simple actually.
But she looks hot, you know, uniform sometimes do bring a seductive feeling. So that when I saw her, walking in the class, I couldn't stop myself but stop her there and told her:
“Hey Lauren! You look sexy today!”
She turns back to me with a little shy (LOL, it's not usual to see that from Lauren I think).
“Oh really? Thx Mag…” with a smile, a happy one, a beautiful one.

Yes, I like to preach up others when I see some shining points from them
So I'm those kind of person on the street that always stops people just to tell them: “You looks pretty” or “I like your dress.”

This might be common for western people. But seriously, not for Asian. We are kind of shy people. We don't express our emotion too much. We surely don't tell things in a straight way.

So I often get laugh at by my friends when I'm preaching up some strangers.

But, no, don't laugh!
I think I'm doing a great thing!

I knew it from I was a little child, which if u keeps commend others, tell them their advantages, what they are good at, what are shining on them, they will become more and more beautiful.
Oh sure this have “scientific proof”.
When people are more confident to themselves, they are braver and free to express themselves, and which, always in a good way.

I have received many different compliments from different people as well. Some from the passerbys on the street; some from those guys in the club; some from those very nice teachers, and some from my lovely friends.

Most of time it would just a few words: “You look gorgeous!” “You look definitely glamourous!” “Hey pretty, you are beautiful”

Every time I hear those compliments,
I smile to them. I do, and I smile from the bottom of my heart.
I says “thank you” to them. I do, and again, I say it from the bottom of my heart.

I was not a girl with no confident at all. I was really skinny, shy, with bad taste of fashion. One of my friends, no, should be my best friend, she said she saw something in me from the very first day she knows me. She keeps telling me what is good about me; said I am a cute girl; I have my own shining features……
Day by day with her compliments, I changed. And changed to a good way, I think.
I am more confident than before. More pretty as well? I think so.

Those compliments, I never forget them. And I won’t forget how I felt after I hear her words.
I looked into her eyes; I saw something much more beautiful than her compliments.
I saw a beautiful soul.

You know what, compliments can make others more confident, feel good of themselves, and, more beautiful.

But maybe there is one thing you don't know.

It makes you, the laudatory, more beautiful. And, it's something your cosmetics and brandy stuff can never ever bring to you.

So I have get used to keep commend others. I don’t do it in purpose, just can’t hide them with myself.
I like to see my friends, or even those strangers to smile, happily.
More over, I like the thing I saw after they hear my compliments.

oh ya, you keep laughing.
I'll just keep on my way.
Because, I know what's the right way.
Because, I've seen something you might never see in your life.

About Love

2007-01-12T14:02:00.000+11:00

I just read through our little Michael's new entry.
Oh ya i love it.

It's not something with beautiful words...
but it's something from a real heart.

Like he said: "I wanted to get some things off my chest and get u guys knowing a little about me!"
That little real him, makes maggie feel wanna cry.... (How crazy is that.. LoL..)

So ya, I want to get something off my chest as well.. since I havn't been real for a looooooooong time, especially when i'm facing my classmates...
Do people reali know me?

Everyone wants to be understand and be accept. Don't we?

It has been a year I didn't update this blog. (From 2006 to 2007... LOL)
At the very begining of this new begining, I want to write a summary of myself in 2006. (You know, I'm not as smart as Lee.. He wrote a summary of what happened of the world in 2006! Amazing!!)

Firstly, about LOVE.

I've been single for 1 years. And "No", I don't want to be in relationship.
Don't know since when, I am no longer believe in love.
How could u be in love if u don't even believe there is such a thing?
I was 'in love' deeply with someone before, when I was still young, so young that still believe in the seven letters word: FOREVER.
I gave out so much from myself. What things? Everything...
I loved him so much that I almost forgot about my name.

You must think I've hurt by this guy. Hurt so deep so that I don't believe in Love anymore.

No... It's not like that.
I'm the one turned away first.

Why? Don't you love this guy soooooo much that you lost yourself in him?
Yes, I did.
I thought he's the one and only.
And just one day, a normal day. I met someone.

It's just easy.
So easy to break those promises; those you thought you would never break, not even after you dead.
So easy to protray; to those you thought you would never hurt, those you would rather hurt yourself but not them.
So easy to be attract; by a sudden feeling; a luxery evening; a handsome face; a sexy strong body.

It's just that easy.

I never thought I will leave him. Cuz I always believe that, I am a obstinate and concentrated person, as my star sign: Taurus.
He's still amazing. Handsome, sexy, love me, care me, never left me, sweet, smart, mature, cute... anything, everything.

But I just did. And did it withour a doubt.

When it comes to "human nature", all promises would become nothing. Not a cent.

So how could you believe others, when you can't even believe yourself?

People says, if you are lucky, you have one Love.
A real one.
If you are reali lucky, you might have two.

I had one.
And it is a good one.

Here we go... like a poem.

2006-12-01T11:06:00.000+11:00

yo yo yo... check this out...

You can say what you want about me. Try to do what you want to me

But you cannot stop me

I've been knocked down, it's a crazy town

Even got punched in the face in LA

Ain't nothing in the world that can keep me from doing what I wanna do'

Cause I'm too proud, I'm too strong

Live by the code that you gotta move on

Feeling sorry for yourself ain't got nobody nowhere

so I...held my head high

I knew... I knew I'd survive.
Well I made it! I don't hate it !
That's just the way it goes (Yeah)

I done made it through! Stand on my own two!

I paid my dues (yeah~)!

Tried to hold me down? You can't stop me now I paid my dues!

So like I told you: You cannot stop me! I've paid my dues!!

Now I'm still testedd everyday. people try to mess with "MagGie"..
got another thing comin'..'

cause I handle mine~and I thought I better let you know:

I'm no punk! I can't get down!

I don't give a damn about who's around. that's worked just fine 'til now

Took so long to get me here.
But I won't live in fear!!

You try to steal my shine,

But first they wanna build you up.

Then they tear you down.

It's a struggle, you try to bubble

above are the lyric from "paid my dues".

丶/)/)゛

(-.-)﹏.

It doesn't really matter how many people around you
It doesn't really matter how many relationships you have got
It doesn't really matter how many 'friends' you have meet

What does matter is..
how many people
have ever keep you in the heart, not on the mouth

It doesn't really matter how many people keeps you in their heart
What does matter is,
the one that think about you the most,
can still call out your name in their dreams,
see your smile in their sky,
still remember your face, and the time them spent with you..
even after, 100 years ...

Every little drop of time you share
Is deeper than the ocean, the sea...

It doesn't really matter if there is someone hold on to your memories deeper than the ocean
What does matter is
How many people you remember.
How many people you keep in your mind, not jsut on the mouth
Even after the wrinkles have appear on your face
teeth wearing out
having fog over your eyes

when you think abck of them,
you can still smile out the innocent youth within you
without noticing you are re-living the life again

It doesn't really how other people is
What really does matter is
YOU.

in order to gain the respect of other, you must repect yourself at first....

To be... Or not to be........

2006-11-24T03:08:00.000+11:00

I've got some feeling to write abt things..
Many things…
73$#%#52324#%#$%^5........

But maybe I should just pick up one n write some lines… as a soft start…

So… let's take 「Have u ever think about, when to die?」

Days be4, as I was having a lunch with 2 other girlfriend of mine. Exactly like how girls should be, we first talked about some gossips abt ppl around us…
"U know what, I saw XXX went out wiv a new boy yesterday! A new boy! Again! Oh she is so…" …. Ect.
And then we talked abt fashion..
"Check out da chick…… Hum… the dress is hot!" … ect.
And then……….

Suddenly, one of my girls suddenly asked:
“Have you ever think about, when to die?”

Oh ya… this is so the problem for me. Cuz I've consider abt this question hardly since I was 8!

Firstly I decide to die after I was 18…
Cuz there won't have anything better than be “YOUNG”.
So, be4 I reali grow up, be4 I have to take responsibility to things I did, to my own life, to ppl around me…
“Finsh nicely and beautifully be4 I get to old…”.
That's the primary idea when I was in primary school. 18, was so far away from me. It was old enough. It was still a long way to reach.

Then I've changed; be4 I reach to 18.
I decided to die at 40.
There could not have any fun and joy in life after 40, especially for a woman.
I don't want to see my face and body in the mirror with wrinkles full of them. So, die before I get ugly, get useless, get helpless.
40, is not really imaginable for a girl under 18.

Once, after I succeffuly survived from my 18, I asked my mum about this question seriously. I told her that before 18 I was still so ignorant and childish. It could not call 'life'. My life have just truly start after my 18. However, on the other hand, I don't want to be an old chick who is not attractive, not useful, not capable to dance heavily anymore…
So, therefore, I decided to die before hence. Die as perfect.

Mum smiled to me, with understanding, but more I saw from her eyes is expectative. She said:
“I understand you. You have the right to say this now, cause you are so fresh and young now. You might think what you have now is the best period one could have. However, the old saying 'bloom is the biggest and best treasure one could have in life' is not true.
As time goes by, we experience different stages of life. There are always good things and bad things through them. But one thing is for sure, is that you would always find the beauty at your stage.
There are so many things much beautiful than a young face. For example, for me, now, a 40 something woman. I might don’t have many joys that you are having, but, I'm having a best and most beautiful gift from heaven. I have you.
I know I have to live as long as I could, to be with you, to watch u grow up a bit and a bit, to see you from a arm size baby to a shy girl then to a pretty woman. I have to be there, for you. And you are the joy in my life, the best thing in life…….”

Yes, I'm no longer trying hard to figure out when should I die.
Not because I'm now afraid of dead, dead is never scary for Maggie.

Yes, I've been a little pessimistic.
But i will never be like that anymore.

It is just, because, I know,
there are always something to expect and to treasure in life.
No matter where you are; what you are; how you are.

Accept yourself. Accept the world. ~★'

「Sorry, these words above might not been very well organized.
Actually thats just as the way I am in life.
Half of the words I said are meaningless.
But I just wish someone might can see through the other half of them.
And feel me. ^^

But I will try best to make them more fluent and meaningful and smarter..
If I could. 」

^___________________^

Saturday evening

2006-11-10T13:17:00.000+11:00

Jeffery and Elizabeth is a nice young couple...
They always being generous to me even though we are in so different bussiness and live so far with each other.

Jeffery likes inviting people to their beautiful and romantic house.
We know he is quite satisfied with his cultivated wife Elizabeth.
Elizabeth is a pretty and high educated girl,loves reading and cooking... oh ya, and, spending heaps of money on branded dresses.
She always talk with me about her Italian designed dresses...
Jeffery never joined our talking on cloth and fashion.. he is quiet casual aabout dressing up.
Only thing he would like to talk with me is about NBA, and the food his wife cooked.

Their life is quite relaxed.
They are quite rich couple, both born in a rich family.
Of cause it's much more convenient to start their own business.
Jeffery is doin the mobile phone sales and service in one of the biggest shopping center in the town.
Elizebeth is just preparing to open her own cloth shop.
And she want cooperate wiz me, but unfortunatly i am not interested in the expansive designed brand clothes..I just love vintage stuff.

As usual they invite me to their house on Saturday everning.
It was a bit freezing outside, even though summer is comin.
I can smell the steak and the cheese from the outside of the main door of their house.
The steak with Elizabeth's special "home made" sauce is so delicious...
Jeffery looks like enjoy it so much.

We start talkin after we finished our steak.
Jeffery sounds quite confused. He doesnt understand the concept of a cloth shop and worrys about how to make money from it....yes...his consideration is totally rite... It is reali a "taugh" work.
However Elizabeth really wanna me to cooperate wiz her , its hard to refuse..but i did.
I hate to bein actin like a hypocrite. But the most important thing is, I don't know that much about those High-fashion..
I can't help much...

The topic changes to the marrige.
Elizabeth wanna introuduce a nice young boy to me as my boyfriend... even my husband in future...
She is really kind and considered friend of mine.
I feel pleased to hear that but I refused agn....
The reason??Still wanna keep single for a while...
Maybe love is already means nothing for me??
"Love game", the "game" that all young people are so much enoying, is already finished with me in my life.
Just wanna be a while quiet now.
Jeffery may understand what i am talkin about..
but Elizabeth seems change to worry about me..
Oh ya, I'm all right.. Not too bad...

I envy them.I said to them.
They said to me that they envy me...
Its really surprised me...!
Even though they drive BMW , i ....
They live in the two floors house wiz a large garden, I ...

They envy me becoz i can do things wat i really like..
becoz i live by my own quote.
I envy them becoz they are still young but they alredy enjoy the happiness as they'll been together forever,
and share each other's joyness.

Its really romantic saturday nite...
Neighbours are havin the party.. Music is spreadin over the house.

God knows wat will happen on next Saturday evening........

Say Yeah~~~!

2006-10-20T16:19:00.000+10:00

Wooooow~~~

This is your super maggie..

and hand clips plz...

:D